You are a badass by Jen Sincero (chapter-wise summary and quotes from the author)
Chapter 1
When we came into this world weren’t insecure or ashamed of ourselves as we are right now and it is simply because we have evolved and taken opinions from irrelevant people. We are living in an illusion based on someone else’s beliefs, this book will help you wake up. So, we humans have two minds conscious and subconscious minds, the conscious mind is where we process everything, it is where we figure things out, analyze, criticize, worry, etc. But our subconscious mind is like a baby unfiltered, believes everything, no matter who is it coming from or where is it coming from and we feel that our conscious mind is in control but it’s not it’s our subconscious mind who’s in control, it’s underlying beliefs, peoples opinions that control us and holds us back from achieving greatness, no matter strong our conscious mind is our subconscious mind is always stronger.
Chapter 2
We are all connected to limitless power but we aren’t using it. You get so much power when you’re connected with solar energy. Meditation helps a lot, you become happier as a result and it works like a magic. Having the belief is very important, no matter what we have to have a firm belief in ourselves only then we will get good breaks. We will be able to achieve greatness if we keep our actions and frequency high. The more you believe in yourself the further you can go and the second you stop believing it affects you negatively.
Chapter 3
Instead of worrying about the past or the future we need to be present in the moment we need to be excited to survive being alive in this world, how fun it is to be alive we need to be like the kids who just live in the moment and never compares themselves things you want in life is already here you just need to find it the more you are present in the moment the more you can grab the opportunity to forget everything and be present at the moment.
Chapter 4
Our ego is so bad that it ruins us in the long run. Ego is the belief that is instilled in us but is wrong. Ego is a big snooze in our life and as soon as we get out of it we get to see the real life, the carefree life, the life that we would be happy to live. Many people aren't even aware of the snooze-free life and when we see people taking action in their life we feel insecure because we were too afraid to do that. When you try to evolve it will be hard at the beginning when you quit drugs it's hard at the beginning but as the days progress you get to see the benefits, as they say, life turns into shit before Shinola, so we need to remember that before every success we will be tested with failure and only who survives will make it.
Chapter 5
We perceive ourselves as losers, as someone who are not worthy of anything and won't get things done. You see others as your role model or someone you look up to but why not yourself why as we so surprised if we do or even think of doing cool stuff? When others whom we admire do the same thing to think, “it's alright they are cool people they can do it”, why aren't we cool? Why aren't we our die-hard fans?
Chapter 6
When we believe in ourselves everything gets better but when we don’t everything is ruined, this world would’ve been so much better if we believed in ourselves and loved ourselves. Some ways to make yourself feel better:
- Appreciating how special you are
- Drown yourself in affirmations
- Do things you love
- Find a replacement (for our negative thoughts and emotions)
- Ditch the self-deprecating humor
- Let the love in
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Forgive yourself (extremely important)
- Love yourself
Chapter 7
If you want to take it to the next level then don’t give a crap about what others think about you. There are three questions you need to ask yourself and if the answer for the first two is yes and no for the last one then you are all set and don’t let anything stop you then, the questions are
- is there something I want to be, do, or have?
- Is it going to take me in the direction I want to go?
- Am I going to harm anyone in the process?
What others think about you has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them, and don’t get caught up in the praise as well because when we seek outside validation we’re screwed. Here are some tricks on how to not care about others and truly be our best-selves
- Ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing
- Always do your best
- Trust your intuition
- Find a (temporary) role model
- Love yourself
Chapter 8
We have so much to share just waiting to be shared, we need to know who we are and present our best selves to the world, here are some ways we can get to know who we are
- Be the alien (care-free and regret free)
- Take the first right step
- Do your best wherever you’re at
- Don’t reinvent the wheel (look at people who are doing it and take motivation from them)
- Don’t get caught up in the thunderbolt hype
- Listen to your intuition
- Follow your fantasies
- Love yourself
Chapter 9
Love yourself for who you truly are, don’t worry about the outside noise just make sure you’re true to yourself and that’s all you need to love yourself to its fullest.
Chapter 10
Meditating is necessary, as it makes us feel better and more still, not only this it also brings us into the present moment relieves our stress, puts us in good moods, and much more. Meditation has no set time or place, you can do it wherever and whenever you like. If chanting helps you, you may chant as well, some-people lights up a candle and that works as well, so whatever it takes. Meditation is really simple, you just need to sit comfortably and focus on your breathing that’s it.
Chapter 11
It’s essential that we believe in ourselves more than anything, our vision is very important and it can make us or break us, we have to have faith in who we truly are. We have to start believing and then we will see the evidence but it’s always the other way around we see first and then believe but without belief, no great things would have been possible. Some proven ways to show tell the brain that you’re in control
- ask and it is given
- Act as if ( have a vision, imagine yourself already attaining it)
- Upgrade your environment
- Make a vision board
- Surround yourself with people who think the way you want to think
- Love yourself ( most important)
Chapter 12
The more we grow old the less we live freely and to the fullest, there is a saying in the beginner's mind there are many possibilities but in the experts, there are few, we tend not to explore and do things when we get old or have responsibilities, we are always settling for mediocrity because we think it’s too late or we have too many responsibilities or whatever. We should think about what part of our life we were the happiest and try to go back because it’s all about us being happy at the end of the day. Nuggets of wisdom from the writer
- just see what you can get away with
- Lose track of time keep being the beginner
- Love yourself
Chapter 13
Giving gives us joy, and makes us feel better physically and mentally. If you already give, try giving more, make someone's day better, if someone is not being nice be the bigger person and be nice, smile compliment others, and have a good time all the time.
Chapter 14
People will do anything if you're just nice to them, gratitude puts you in a very high frequency and connects you to solar energy and lack of gratitude puts you in a low frequency, gratitude is very powerful. Be grateful even for the things you’ve not witnessed or seen.
Chapter 15
Forgive yourself, don’t lock yourself up for life, holding grudges anger and sadness would not take you anywhere instead forgive and forget, no matter how much people made you sad or angry let it go, forgiveness is just to make yourself feel better by letting go of the pain that you’re bearing (which you’re not supposed to bear on the first place). Here are ways to forgive
- Show compassion
- Ease the other person from the equation
- Decide you’d rather be happy than right
- Look at it from all the angles
- Have a total shift (make sure you do anything to forget about it)
- Remember that you won’t even remember this
- Fuggetaboutit (forget about it and let go)
- Love yourself
Chapter 16
Loosen up, talk to people, enjoy find the humor have a good time, it’s always about having a good time all the time, enjoying every moment, and trying to make the best out of every moment because one day you’ll look back and be happy that you did.
Chapter 17
Whatever you choose to focus on becomes your reality, you can focus on the good or bad that’s your choice. If you don’t let anything stop you then nothing can is just how you view things if you view them positively you will be happy and fulfilled and if you don’t you won’t it’s as simple as that. Life is an illusion that is created by your perception and can be changed any moment you choose to change it
Chapter 18
Four teachings from the chapter
- we all know more than we give ourselves credit for knowing
- We’re drawn to things that we are naturally good at
- There is no better teacher than necessity
- Passion trumps fear
Some tips to stop procrastinating
- Remember that done is better than perfect
- Notice where you stop
- Make a bet that you’ll get the work done with someone mean
- Own it and work with it
- Love your self
Chapter 19
If we make the time we have time, time is illusional, we control it (we all have the same time it’s how we make the proper use of it). Three most common complaints we do:
- There’s not enough time
- There’s too much to do
- I’m exhausted
Chapter 20
We have made it a habit to fear if someone we love does something out of the norm instead of trying to understand and motivate them, we say things like ‘look out’ or ‘be careful’ or ‘are you sure? Ways to navigate through the jungle of fear:
- View fear from the rearview mirror
- Flip the fear
- Be in the moment
- Cut off the stream of crap
- Don’t think of anything upsetting in bed at night
Chapter 21
The people we spend most of our time with are mirrors of us, we like something from someone because that resonates with us and we hate things from someone because that makes us feel insecure, for example, if someone says we’re dumb we could think it’s a red flag because they are mean and they are negative or we might think that they are so said that they need to abuse others to feel better, they just need someone to understand them and support them. We shouldn’t judge so easily, the same goes for us as well if we do something and mess up let’s try not to be all judgmental and try to understand the situation and we need to respect ourselves so that other people respect us.
Chapter 22
If you want to do something now is the time, because you’ll never be young again. Love everyone even if you have got differences because a time will come when you won’t be around or they might not be around, so choose peace and live a happy life. If we want something we need to be fully focused and determined, and a tip is to always go with the gut feeling. success consists of going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm. Everyone, great we know today had failed temporarily but they never gave up and tried many more times till they succeeded. “The only gathering is failing, everyone else is just gathering information”.
Chapter 23
Few tips from the author:
- If you want something want it bad
- Get good at it
- Eliminate the negotiation process
- Stick like glue
- Love yourself
Chapter 24
The writer tells about how getting a luxury car, made his relationship with money better. We need to respect money and nurture it and only then it will come to us, we need to have the proper mindset about money, all we think is that money is the root of all evil but deep down we all want to have more of it, it doesn’t work that way. Financial success isn’t bad it just helps you make a bigger difference. The only time you need to feel sad about money is when you’re scamming people otherwise there is no harm in earning money and having financial success. Read books about money books such as ‘think and grow rich’ by napoleon hill and ‘the science of getting rich by Wallace wattles are two recommendations. have clear intentions and make sure to figure out the exact number that you are looking to make per year, per month, and hour. Make it urgent, do it right now, don’t wait till the last moment, do it as soon as you can and that’s right now.
Chapter 25
Sometimes we need to take a step back to go forward, positive attitude is crucial, it helps you during the bad days, be sure to relax and let go, what is destined for you will always find you so there is no reason to worry. Relax and have sweet patience everything will fall in its place.
Chapter 26
Some things are like ‘Duh’, they are a no-brainer. We have to be willing to get uncomfortable, willing to put ourselves in the dirt and suffer, only then we will be successful and achieve something, keep moving never settle, no matter how successful or wealthy you are keep striding forward otherwise you’re going to lose it all. Always remember if you’re not uncomfortable you’re not doing it right. The no1 tip is to relax because you’ll always end up fine no matter what, stressing about things doesn’t make anything better rather it makes them worse. Some tips:
- replace bad habits with good ones
- Be in good company
- Set honest goals(not too high not too low)
- Get serious and ambitious
- Get a mentor
- Get your body into it even if you don’t feel like
- Listen to good music and watch inspirational videos
Chapter 27
If you believe in something, go for it never let anyone tell you otherwise.